Being The Third Wheel
Being the third wheel
Is like me, my thoughts, and feelings are nothing to them
Like no matter what I do or say, I’ll always just be invisible
I try my best to convince my mind
That it’s a misunderstanding, everything will be alright
Deep inside, however,
Is a small voice telling me, “It will be this way forever”
So days slip away, and so does my smile
And it goes on this way for, what feels like, miles
I tell myself that this friendship is true and real
But I guess that is how it goes when you are stuck being the third wheel
You slowly begin to realize that your days are ruined
By the painful reality of always being excluded
They mean too much to your soul
To even think about letting them go
But I begin to change
The comfort and happiness inside of me fades away
So I take a deep breath
But the anger comes alive
It starts from my head
And travels down towards my spine
I think of all the times
They let me down
Like how they never had my back
When I would turn around
I keep reminding myself
That it wasn’t that long ago
When they stopped being there
Through high and low
So I finally stood up for myself
I tried to set myself free
I told them about how they would always laugh and have fun
But never with me
For months they took me for granted
For months I endured the misery
Now just when I took a stand
They suddenly want to come back to me
But I’ve grown stronger than before
I won’t let them continue the rhythm
I’ll say one thing, though
Stop playing the victim
Because I will not sit around
And be played like a fool
My heart and mind now know better
Than to ever again have trust in you
You see, I am enough for myself
I don’t need your regret
I am in a much better place
I won’t look your way again
I was locked behind a cage
But I set myself free
Now my days are filled with happiness
Take a look and you’ll see
This poem is about the way a past friendship had made me feel. The reason I decided to write it is because I’ve realized that many people can relate to it. Whether it be because they are going through something like this, or have gone through it. Through writing this piece, my initial goal was for this poem to be relatable. After writing it, however, I realized that I want readers to know, that being a third wheel, isn’t always a bad thing. I wanted to inspire and motivate others towards becoming stronger, and, simply, being their own friend. When writing this piece, I wanted to look at the negative and positive sides of being a third wheel. The poem, itself, has helped me realize the strengths we gain off of someone’s ignorance and rejection.
Dear Maira,
Absolutely amazing, Maira! This piece got me off the hook for a second, and was totally lost in your beautiful description of the significance of friendship. I really liked how you began your poem with how negative friends are and what your feelings and thoughts mean to them. Moreover, I enjoyed the transition from sad, angry person to a braver and stronger person. I felt I could relate to this poem in my own life, when I struggle with negative friends. However, there are some areas you need improvement on.
One of the major improvement I would suggest for this piece is having a comma after every line. I didn’t know where to stop reading because your sentences were “run-on” sentences. This could improve your writing significantly. Moreover, at the end of the poem in one of the lines, “Now my days are filled with happiness”, you could have changed this to a better sentence, rather than just “happiness”.
Similar to Zainab, I feel if you work on these kind of pieces often, you will gain a better understanding of what it means to be a true writer and learn the value of proofreading. Don’t forget, “practice makes perfect”, so don’t let yourself down, and keep practicing, until you become a fantastic writer. Thanks for sharing this heartwarming piece!
Sincerely,
Ayesha
Dear Ayesha,
Thank you for leaving such a long and detailed comment! It, honestly, really helped me out! I love that you can relate to this poem, because that is what I try to do in my writing. I love hearing that my reader can relate to it and, therefore, knows where I am coming from!
I will try my best to remember to incorporate a comma in every line. I’m sorry it was hard for you to read. Thanks a lot for pointing it out. I agree with your for the second last line. I feel like, because the poem is ending, I should try using a more powerful and moving word, to really capture the reader’s attention.
Thank you for your feedback, and I agree, practice does make perfect. Thanks for taking the time to help me with my writing, it means a lot!
– Maira
Dear Maira,
Your poem is absolutely amazing! I love the inner emotions that is being illustrated into your writing. It gives a powerful message over debating between what is right and what is wrong. When I read your poem, it reflected upon myself and my struggles in the past. It signifies the importance of friendship and gives a clear understanding of what really true friends are. I loved how it was realistically presented and straight to the point.
I would say that I felt that the words should have been lengthened and should have had more use of vocabulary to the writing as a true essence. I would have wanted to see a bit more background detail over the writing to give the reader an idea where it is taking place.
Overall, I feel if you worked on these pieces more and gave yourself the motivation to fix these minor errors, you’ll become a spectacular writer.
Sincerely, Zainab.K
Dear Zainab,
Thank you so much for your feedback. It means a lot coming from you, since your writing is really amazing.
I do agree with you in terms of the vocabulary part. I feel that if I were to replace a few words with more complex ones, my writing would have had a true essence. I will definitely keep this in mind the next time I sit down to write a piece. I’ll also try to focus a bit more on the background information, to help the reader understand my P.O.V. more.
Once again, thank you so much for your feedback. It was honestly really helpful. I’ll try my best to enhance my writing with the feedback you’ve given me.
– Maira
Dear Maira,
I loved this piece! I thought the concept was really interesting and I really liked hearing your voice through this poem. Your ideas were incredibly concise and clear, so I never got confused or lost. You also have really amazing stream of thought, creating a super smooth flow.
In specific to this poem, make sure that you ensure that everything sentence you write makes sense and correlated with the sentence below and above it. For example, “So days slip away, and so does my smile. And it goes on this way for, what feels like, miles” Days and miles wouldn’t work in this case. Do you see what I mean? Maybe try to go in and chance miles to weeks?”
I really want to see you develop your style more throughout the semester and I hope to see more poetic devices in your poetry: such as metaphors, similes, alliteration, etc. That will really enhance your writing 🙂 .
Sincerely,
Liza
Dear Liza,
Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and giving me feedback. It was honestly really helpful, and I’ll make sure to go back and fix whatever can be written better. My goal in future pieces is to add more poetic devices, I agree with your opinion. The line that you mentioned, “So days slip away, and so does my smile. And it goes on this way for, what feels like, miles” I agree with that something like “weeks” would make more sense.
Once again, thanks for reading my poem and giving me valuable feedback. It was really helpful!
– Maira